This is One Reason

We are still waiting, but there's so much to do while we wait. We've done all of our paperwork and raised all of our money. However, there are still lessons to learn during our waiting time. Waiting is not to be wasted, and we pray ours is not wasted, either. Later, I will share some things I'm learning while we wait.

For now, I want to share a powerful real-life example of why we are pursuing adoption.

WATCH THIS VIDEO.

God did this!

We received a letter in the mail from Show Hope, the non-profit organization started by Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife, Mary Beth. One of their goals is to help families afford adoption through grants. We applied for a grant in April, hoping to maybe receive as much as a thousand dollars. We were beside ourselves to see that Show Hope was granting us $5,500 towards our adoption! You can learn more about Show Hope at www.showhope.org.

I am humbled to say that our adoption is now fully funded! A year ago, we were not even sure if we could do this, but we decided it could not hurt to just look into adoption. One step at a time, the Lord has been in it all.

We were so overwhelmed with the cost of it all from the very beginning, so I took one of our cards and wrote: "God can do this!" and stuck it on our fridge. I am surprised with the difference that made in my attitude. I looked forward to the day I could change the card to say, "God did this!"

What's next? We wait. God has reasons for everything, especially in the waiting times. Pray, not only that we will be chosen soon, but that we will not waste this waiting time. Please pray we will use this time of waiting to prepare us for the child that the Lord has for our family. Thank you all for your sacrificial gifts and your prayers. I pray the Lord blesses you more than your eyes have seen, more than your ears have heard, and more than you can imagine. Indeed, praise God from Whom all blessings flow!

Mother's Day

There is a unique level of selflessness found in motherhood, much like that found in marriage, ministry, missions, and even the military. I never knew just how selfless my mom was until I became a wife and a mother.

She loved cottage cheese and tomato, as did I. I loved the way she used to reluctantly share her cottage cheese and tomato with me: she would smile and say, “I hope your children eat yours the way you eat mine.” Well, they do…except I have twins eating mine! She would get such a kick out of that!

I became a mom seven years ago, and I lost my mom seven years ago (six months before my twins were born). Although it has been seven years, mother’s day is still very bitter sweet to me. The sweet: I love seeing my girls excited about saying “happy mother’s day!” a millllllion times over. The bitter: I never knew how hard it would be to not be able to say “happy mother’s day” to my mom, but I never imagined the difficulty of never being able to hear her say it to me. I know she would be proud of me, but I find myself always wishing she could know me as a mom and say that she is proud of me.

While we are waiting to adopt a child, I think about that birthmother out there. With most-likely many voices reminding her of the option of abortion, she is doing one of the most selfless things I could think of. She will soon have her first mother’s day, but she does not know how hard it will be to not be able to hear “happy mother’s day.” Even though we do not know her, please pray for her. I imagine this day will someday be a difficult day for her.

Whether mother's day is joyful or difficult, please treasure what the Lord has given you today. I pray you all will find a hidden treasure in today. Happy mother’s day!

The True Meaning of Pro-Life

Rachel Jankovic writes about how being pro-life is something each of us is called to live out every day. An excerpt:

God does not want us putting death on his altar, but rather life. We are called as his children, to present our bodies as a living sacrifice. Choosing life is not only about not aborting when you get a positive pregnancy test. God wants us to continue to present our bodies as a sacrifice of life, for all of our days. 

Far from having done our part when we carry a baby to term, we can continue to choose life every day. Every day we choose the life of another over our own life. Every day we can lay down our desires, our selfish ambition, our self-importance, and choose life. And of course this is not unique to mothers — every Christian has the means of fighting for life by laying theirs down for those around them.

You can read the whole thing here.

Transparency

The past couple of weeks have been really hard. We have experienced spiritual warfare throughout this adoption process, but none like this past couple of weeks. Before, we struggled with HOW we would be able to adopt; the past couple of weeks we have struggled with the IF. Let me explain.

We do not struggle with infertility; we want to adopt because we have been adopted by God and because we believe in life. We want to adopt the unwanted child. We looked long and hard at adopting through the foster care system, but Daniel did not think that our girls and I could emotionally take the constant uncertainty of it all. Down the road, when our children are older, we hope to become a foster family. We were open to any child under the age of our children. Once we found Bethany Christian Services, we immediately loved the way they minister to birthmothers. In fact, the "birthmother care fee" is specifically to support the agency's birthmothers. We prayed (a lot) and dove in! With the help of so many people, we were able to pay our fees and join in the rank of "waiting families."

A couple of weeks ago, we received a message from our agency that caused us to start to doubt whether or not we did the right thing in choosing Bethany Christian Services. We were told our wait would be more than the average because most birthmothers want to choose families who struggle with infertility. The last thing we want to do is take a child away from a family that deeply longs to have a child. We started feeling like we were in the way. I cannot tell you how much I have cried over this. Were we doing the right thing? It has been a difficult past couple of weeks.


After listening to me for so long, Daniel decided it was worth it to just lay it out there to our agency. Below is the email he sent and their response. Before you read these two emails,  I want to say that God is always faithful. The words of my youth pastor from younger years still comes to mind: "Do what's right because you know its right until it feels right."

Daniel's email:

My wife and I recently finished our home study and became a waiting family. Since then, we’ve begun to have some doubts about whether we’re doing the right thing in adopting through Bethany. Let me explain. The reason we are adopting is because we want to live out our faith by providing an alternative to abortion to moms who are facing an unplanned pregnancy, and we want to care for children that need to be taken care of. We have biological twins, and infertility is not an issue. We were drawn to Bethany because your mission of ministering to the birth mother resonated with our reasons for adopting.   

Now that we’re a waiting family, we’re starting to wonder if we are really helping anybody. When we see the ratio of waiting families to expecting mothers, we wonder if we’re just competing to take a baby away from an infertile couple. It’s not that we’re discouraged about the potential length of the waiting period. We were prepared for that from the beginning. We feel like we’re just getting in the way. We’ve already sunk $6000 into Bethany, so we feel stuck. We still believe in Bethany’s mission and are glad to be a part of it. I was wondering if you could help us gain some perspective on the situation.  Are we missing something? Thank you for your help.   Sincerely,   DK 

Our agency's response:

Thank you for writing to share your concerns. We value our families and always want you to feel that your concerns are heard.

Please hear me say with a resounding YES that you are so vital to our ministry. I do not have your info in front of me, but I believe that you all are very open to medical and mental health needs in a baby. We always have a need for families who are very open, and I was just recently telling Stephanie that we needed more "open to anything" families because we only have a few (maybe a handful of those 40). When a birthmother comes to us and has used substances or has a significant mental health history (and is not caucasian), there are very few families I can show her. As you can imagine, many of our infertile couples want their first child to be healthy, so many are not open to a child with these types of special needs. So a mother who has chosen life but has made these decisions or has such a history does not have many families to choose from..so we need families just like you to raise these babies! Our mission is to find a loving Christian home for ANY child. If you would prefer to only be shown to mothers who have a baby with these needs, we can do that (instead of being shown in all situations), if you feel drawn to help children in the most need. 

And your support of Bethany absolutely serves women who have chosen life..and encourages those who are considering abortion that there are other options. I can confidently tell these women "we will find a home for ANY baby,"..because of families like you. Just this week, I was speaking with a mom who drank during her pregnancy and felt the rejection of being turned down by a family because of this. We need families that will accept any child, no matter what their needs. I wish I could sit down face to face and tell you how the money you have invested in Bethany supports women..women considering abortion, women who have just found out they are pregnant and are scared....  women needing clothes, a listening ear, and a family for their "less than perfect" (in the world's eye) baby..your support (including your birthmother fund fee) allows me to give those things to women every single day. 

So I hope you hear me saying that yes, we need you! Families like yours are so vital to our ministry. Please let me know if you have further concerns, and thank you for choosing to partner with us.

Blessings,
Kelli

After he forwarded the emails to me, Daniel called me to make sure I'd read them. I told him that it was exactly what I needed to hear; it removed any doubt or guilt I had. Daniel said, "Me, too. I read it at least three times!" I want to add that Daniel and I are going to change our profile status to only to be shown to those mothers who have special circumstances. It will most likely increase our wait time, but this is what we feel led to do. Please pray to this end: that we will be chosen to adopt the child that needs our family. Also, please pray as we raise the remaining adoption fee.

I want to encourage you. If you are called by the Lord to do something, be transparent with someone throughout the process...even if it makes you look like your faith is weak. Apart from Christ, we are all weak. Pray, cling to God's Word, and trust the Lord. Do what's right because you know its right until it feels right.

Wind, Water, and Free Unlimited Sodas!

Holiday World and Splashin' Safari are two parks in one! They are located in Santa Claus, IN and worth the drive! 

Holiday World is full of rides for adults and for kids. The Voyage is rated "the #1 wooden coaster on the planet. You'll experience 24.2 seconds of zero-G, one of the steepest drops on any wooden coaster and 90-degree banking at highway speeds!" With bumper cars, food, and always free drinks and sunscreen, there's lots of fun to be had for your family.

Splashin' Safari seems to grow every year. They keep adding water rides! I've counted at least twelve different water rides, but that doesn't include their three elaborate splash pads for kids and two huge wave pools. The Zoombabwe is the "World's Largest Enclosed Waterslide." The Zinga is eight-stories tall. With "one-third mile of wild and watery uphills, drops, twists and turns, and a four-story drop," the Wildebeest is voted to be the world's #1 water park ride. Plus, there's a new water ride coming this summer called Hyena Falls.

There's lots of reasons to want to go to Holiday World and Splashin' Safari, and here's one more! I wrote a letter to them in December 2012, and they sent us two FREE tickets (an $80 value!) to help us raise money for our adoption. 

For every $10 you donate to our adoption fund, your name goes into our drawing to win these TWO FREE tickets to Holiday World and Splashin' Safari!

PLUS, when you donate $10, your name also goes on the back of a puzzle piece. We only have 289 pieces left! When our puzzle is complete, we will frame it in our child's bedroom and you will forever be a piece of the puzzle that brought our child home. 

You gotta hurry, though! The deadline is Friday, May 10. On May 11, we will draw the winner of the TWO FREE tickets to Holiday World and Splashin' Safari! 

(Like I said, there's lots of reasons to want to go to Holiday World and Splashin' Safari!)

Yard Sale Results

Because God is amazing, we were able to fill our garage with donated items for our yard sale and raise over $2,500!

Not only did we raise a lot, but we learned a lot.

1. We have amazing friends. Many people gave us things they could have sold or kept for themselves. Others baked cookies. Some friends even showed up at 5:00 am to help set up! One friend even brought us all pizza for lunch. Those were blessings!

2. Some people do not understand adoption. One of my best friends' sons defined adoption this way: "a husband and a wife cannot have a baby, so they go out and buy one." This is a cute five-year-old understanding of adoption, but most of us know adoption is much more than that...and not exclusive to couples dealing with infertility. However, I was surprised with just how many adults asked us what kind of pet we were adopting. People really thought we were raising money to adopt a dog! We were able to share our reason for choosing adoption: the gospel. That was a blessing!

3. Some people really understand adoption. We met one family who just finalized their adoption at the courthouse that morning. We met several people who either had adopted, were adopted, or who were touched by adoption somehow. We also met a man whose family completed their second adoption last fall. He actually came to our sale just to encourage us in our adoption process. He bought a cupcake for $20 (he said to keep the change), and prayed with Daniel and me. Those were blessings!

4. Adoption is a parable of the gospel in more ways than I'd seen before. The big picture: our adoption as God's children through Christ is reflected when we adopt a child as our own. I also saw smaller glimpses of the gospel message throughout this experience: As everyone gave of their time, possessions, and money, I kept wanting to say, "I owe you big time!" The thing is, everyone knows there is no way I can repay everyone for their gifts. I finally realized that I had to accept everyone's gift (gift after gift after gift). It reminded me of my own salvation in Christ; I can do nothing to earn it or pay for it. It is because of nothing I have done, but only because of Christ. That was a blessing!

5. God is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us. To Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! (Ephesians 3:20-21)

Indeed, praise God from whom all blessings flow!

Massive Yard Sale

Since December, we have been collecting items for our adoption yard sale fundraiser. Our garage was once spic and span (well, almost), but now it is jammed packed with donations from so many friends. 

Thanks to our friends, we have furniture, large kitchen appliances, bicycles, trampoline, metal swing set, clothes, golf clubs, sewing machine, decor, printer, picture frames, televisions, holiday stuff, and more! We even have a kitchen sink (and a nice one, too). Bring your sweet tooth, because we will be having baked goods, cold drinks, and coffee. We are so overwhelmed with the generosity! We are also blessed to have some amazing friends coming to help us set up for the sale this Friday morning. Our sale will be Friday and Saturday, April 5-6 from 7:00 am to noon.

We lack about $8,000, and we hope this yard sale will get us closer to our goal. Please pray God will give us an amazing turn out! 

The Numbers

Just a quick adoption fundraising update: When the adoption is final, we will owe the final placement fee of $10,800 to the agency. We have received nearly $2,000 towards our last adoption fund goal. We could be chosen in a matter of months or years.

Here are some ways God is providing:

1. BABYSITTING: Since January, our family has been babysitting for some families while they meet for Bible study. This particular group meets every Saturday from 4:00-6:00 pm. We are amazed at this creative way God gave us to raise money for our adoption. Sure, there are lots of things we could think to do with our time on Saturday evenings, but this is well worth the sacrifice! By the summer, we hope to have earned over $500 towards our adoption. I love that we get to do this as an entire family!

2. PUZZLE: We have 320 puzzle pieces left. When puzzle pieces are purchased for $10 each, we will write your name on the back of each piece purchased. We will hang this puzzle in our child's bedroom, and you will forever be a part of the puzzle that brought our child home. Also, for every puzzle piece you purchase (between December 1, 2012 and April 30, 2013), you will be entered to win two tickets to Holiday World & Splashin' Safari! We will draw the winning puzzle piece on May 1st.

3. GRANTS: Once our home study is approved (which should happen by mid-March), we will be able to apply for grants. We do not know how much we can expect to receive, but we will apply for as much as we can.

4. YARD SALE: Many friends have donated items for our adoption yard sale. When spring arrives, we hope to put a good-sized dent in the final amount we will owe!

5. DINNER: We've not planned this yet, but we hope to have a dinner to raise money for our adoption fees.

6. AMAZON LINK: We have raised nearly $400 through our amazon fund raising link: http://tinyurl.com/9ZLEMWL. Every time you use our link to take you to amazon.com, our adoption fund receives a percentage of your purchase. Bookmark the link and spread the word! http://tinyurl.com/9ZLEMWL

7. YOU: If you are like us and money is tight (but you want to help), there's lots of creative ways you can help. Follow our blog and pray! Share our amazon fundraising link on your facebook page. Click here for some fun ideas on how you can help.

Birthmother Stories and How to Pray

Our adoption agency, Bethany Christian Services, has a monthly meeting for their families who are in the adoption process. We went to last month's meeting and met the new executive director. We gained some new insight as to the changed taking place within the agency. It was a big encouragement!

This month's meeting was tonight. We were fortunate to hear from a birth mother. Her adoption story began several years ago. She spoke of the emotions and temptations she faced during the time she carried her baby. She knew she was going to choose adoption, but she still had times when another way seemed easier. She said she felt shame, guilt, and lonely at times. She said the hardest part was leaving the hospital empty. I've heard people say that the birth day is like the excitement of a wedding and the mourning of a funeral all at once.

After hearing her story, we are more energized than ever. Our decision to adopt is our family's response to orphans, abortion, and the gospel. To remind ourselves of this, we gave ourselves a theme of "Finding Our Hidden Treasure." We want to give a child a loving, Christ-centered home. We also want to show the birth mother that she is also treasured by God. Tonight's meeting taught us a lot; perhaps the biggest thing it showed us was how to continue to pray for the birth mother who will choose our family.

Share your love of everything!

Share your love of everything through photos! Thanks to Rachel Sloan Photography, you will support our adoption when you book a portrait session in the month of February. Half of all proceeds will be donated to our adoption fund.

Your session must be paid in full by the end of February, but you can schedule your session for anytime in 2013. 

Rachel specializes in maternity, newborn, children, and families.
Learn more about Rachel's God-given talent HERE.

Contact Rachel here:
rachelsloanphotographydesign@gmail.com
615.668.3357
www.rachelsloanphotographyblog.wordpress.com

The Great Unknown

God has stretched us throughout this adoption process, but He has also blessed us more than we could have imagined. I wanted to give just one example of both.

At times, we still find ourselves tempted to think about how happy we are already. Adding another child (potentially with special needs) would change things a lot. This is God's calling on our lives, so in the midst of these doubts and selfish thoughts, we press on: doing what's right because we know its right, until it feels right.

Since we began this process of adoption, we've been blessed in so many ways. This is just one of them: We have developed several deep friendships since this adoption process began. I shudder to think of not having these friendships. Had we just remained comfortable, we wouldn't have such blessings.

I want to encourage those who are called by God to do something out of your ordinary: there are unknown blessings ahead. Its natural to fear the unknown. I just pray we all don't allow it to keep us from those unknown blessings. Please pray that for our family as we continue this journey of adoption.

Flomar and Adoption

Nearly five years ago, we "adopted" a cute little beagle to be a part of our family. Our girls LOVED dogs, and we were finally able to have one. We knew what her name was going to be since before we got her, its just that I wasn't sure I wanted to call out "Flomar!" in front of the neighbors.

The name is strange, but it reminds us of a movie we once rented. Martian Child is a movie very few people have heard of (at least the people we talk to). I think out of all the years we've had Flomar, we've found two people who have seen the movie. Although it wasn't a huge blockbuster, you should at least see the trailer. You may find yourself going to amazon and buying the DVD for less than $6.00 (use our link below and a portion of the purchase will go towards our adoption fund).

Why am I telling you about our Beagle and some barely-heard-of movie? It reminds us we were made for more than ourselves. Watch the trailer to see what I mean.

Bless and Be Blessed

Thanks to Rachel Sloan Photography, you will support adoption when you book a portrait session in the month of February. Half of all proceeds will be donated to our adoption fund. Your session must be paid in full by the end of February, but you can schedule your session for anytime in 2013! Rachel specializes in maternity, newborn, children, and families. Learn more about Rachel and her God-given talent HERE.

Also, please click the facebook icon below to share the love!

Contact Rachel here:

www.rachelsloanphotographyblog.wordpress.com

615.668.3357

rachelsloanphotographydesign@gmail.com

Home Visit

This Thursday, January 31, we will complete the next step of our home study. Our home will be visited by our adoption counselor! We expect she will look at the layout of our house, want to know where the baby room will be, want to see where fire extinguishers are, and want to see where the medicines and cleaners are kept. We also believe our counselor will look through our financials and conduct a brief interview. The whole event should last about 1 1/2 hours.

The next step will be a 3-4 hour interview at the Bethany Christian Services office in Nashville. We will be interviewed separately and together. This will be a long day, but we can't wait! This will complete our home study process. Once our home study is complete, we will begin applying for grants. (We still have $11,000 left to raise.) We will then put together our family profile books. Each birth mother uses these family profile books to choose her child's new family.

After this week, we hope to begin working on the baby room. Our girls will move to the playroom and we will set up their current room for the baby. We've even agreed on the paint color (which is a miracle). We cannot wait!

Thank you all for your prayers and gifts. This is the Lord's calling, and we have been in awe at how He is providing.

Why we chose Bethany Christian Services

When we saw the mission of Bethany Christian Services, we were all in! Birthmothers have three choices: they can parent, adopt, or abort the child growing inside their wombs. I have such respect for those birthmother who choose life for their child!

This video will give you a glimpse into how Bethany Christian Services ministers to birthmothers.

Training Session 4 Complete!

- we've raised our home study fee of $2,000
- we've raised our birth mother care fee of $3,000
- we've finished our fourth session of training with our agency
- we've completed all of our paperwork

To begin the actual home study, we needed to have all of the above list completed. We are ready! The home study will include a visit to our house by our adoption counselor and a four-hour interview at our adoption agency office. Once our home study is completed, we will begin applying for grants. We are currently working to raise our placement fee of $10,800. Its going to be a lot of work, but it is worth it!

When we set out to adopt, we did not expect to be where we are right now. We are so thankful and humbled by the gifts given us. To God be the glory!